6.3.12

T.J. I wrote an "agnostic" for you. (an acrostic)


T.J., my brother in Christ, fellow counselor, and friend, I made an agnostic for you (in honor of your misspoken comment at my last Red Team meeting with you even though we knew you meant ACROSTIC). This is for you as you celebrate your Savior and mine forevermore in the realm of glory in your eternal life with Christ:

T: Thrilled even when others were not, always full of joy
H: Hysterical and hyper, twenty-four, seven
O: Outrageous, self-explanatory
M: MANLY, because you probably wouldn’t like it if I didn’t say this
A: Animated, without fear of anything or anyone
S: Senseless and Shameless. If you know anything about T.J. he did not have one bone of sense in his body, but that’s what made him T.J. J

J: Joyful, always. I never saw him down and defeated
A: Adept, skilled in so many ways some will never know or appreciate
M: Maniac, just straight up crazy
E: Energetic and Extreme, even to the very end. Even in heaven I heard one person say they could see him running and sliding down the streets of gold just because he can.
S: Sold out for Christ, whether spoken or not, always did things for God the best he could.

N: Never quitting, never giving up, always strove hard and pushed himself and others for victory and success
O: Outspoken and honest, that friend who was not afraid to call you out on what you did wrong and ready to say something at the drop of the hat.
T: Truthful…uh who am I kidding; he always was sarcastic and funny. A more fitting word would be trustworthy and showing God’s truth to those he loved.
T: Tough and Thoughtful, always tried to be the big man, but was never self-focused. He always wanted to goof off and be crazy so others would be energized, upbeat, excited, or joyful.

Thank you T.J. for all the lessons you taught us in life, and much more also now in death. We celebrate your life, may we all take your energy and use it for God as you did.

5.3.12

The Passing of a Friend and a Co-Laborer


I just found out within the last two days that a pretty good friend of mine I counseled with last summer at Northland Camp named T.J. Nott had been promoted to glory in the act of a motorcycle accident. According to the coroner's report it was due to blows to his head and chest in a motorcycle accident. He had on a helmet and a motorcycle jacket. He was not going at a fast rate of speed, as matter of fact, had he come off his motorcycle any where else, not hit a tree and just rolled into a ditch, he probably would have walked away (this is all from the police officer at the scene of the accident). But that's just a side note for what this post is about.

Personally, I’ve felt a tremendous pressure to really etch out personal emotions, thought process, and self-counseling that may prove helpful to others outside my little personal bubble. This also may prove to be some “mini-legacy” I leave behind for the furtherance of God’s glory should he promote me to heaven soon as well.

So first of all when someone breaks the news: what goes through your mind? In trying to keep this blog profound but still practical, here’s what I came up with: shock. Simply shock. I honestly felt nothing, for some reason, when tragedy strikes my life, fear rises up, or when I am startled I have always felt the typical “deer-in-headlights” reaction. Someone is gone, what do I do? Instantly I think of who needs to know, I look to the nearest person(s) and show them the news. I don’t know if this is the proper response, but this is what happens.

Ok now what? When do the emotions, physical toll, and spiritual testing begin? Well emotionally, for me, it is likened to Indiana weather. In 5 minutes I could be victim of a horrible storm. The storm could last 5 minutes or a few hours. The interesting thing is that the emotional drop-off always seems to be as abrupt as when it started. Physically, exhaustion kicks in when the emotional attacks are hitting me in multiple waves or in lengthy waves when the physical toll incurs. Spiritual testing, however, starts right away. Death always effects more than just the family and immediate friends, ALWAYS.

Spiritually speaking, testing in the area of death of my friend T.J. has to be Hebrews 12:2 FIXING my gaze to the author and finisher of my faith. Searching the Scriptures for comfort proves an excellent exercise, but we all know that you can only do so much listening when trying to be consoled. You need someone to talk to. You need to find a quiet place to run in crying to your heavenly Father. Your daddy. Your Abba. Today I felt obligated to run to the throne of grace as a servant and left comforted, still hurting, but comforted as an adopted child.

Prayer has the uncanny ability to reveal a lot about ourselves if we choose to be as honest as we can be with God. Hebrews 4:12 states that God’s Word is active and ALIVE. It strips us naked of all facades and fronts and leaves us helpless, exposed, bare, and alone before God’s holiness and scrutiny. The metaphor in the text emphasizes being at the mercy of a much more powerful person in a wrestling hold. Completely helpless and exposed is where the victim (you and I are) to God’s word. The illustration I discussed with my RA was that before God’s Word we are like a child in a man’s armor and rank. God takes all the “cool armor” and “fake ranks” from us. God likely takes away all the clothing and under garments to expose us for exactly who we are, sinners in need of grace to even want to love God. And then he grabs our hands and holds them tight so we are completely helpless, unable to fight back or argue.

Prayer is nothing more than admitting this reality to God and truly asking for help in the areas in which you struggle with most. Right now I feel as if uncertainty, priorities, unbelief, purpose, focus, reality, love, compassion, feeling, and friendship are things that I need to reevaluate. Things that God brought to life for my personal walk as to what I am exposed in right now. Am I willing to be a ladder to allow people to get ahead on me? Am I willing to be a doormat that I would allow people to tread on me so they can find themselves welcome before Jesus’ face? Both questions bring to light Phil. 2:1-11.

It’s really time to wrap this thing up. Let me leave some verses I particularly found comforting to wrap my brain around:

John 11: Look at Thomas’s attitude, a willingness to volunteer to die WITH Lazarus. NO FEAR IN LIFE NO FEAR IN DEATH.

Lamentations 3: God’s mercy and grace are the sole things holding us together, without them we would surely be consumed. Thank your God that mercy triumphs over judgment!

I Peter 4-5: Submission to God’s mighty right hand and casting our cares upon him so that he will exalt us in his due time is the best thing you can experience in trials.

I Thessalonians 4: The last half of the chapter tells us the whole point. DO NOT SORROW. Comfort one another. Hello! You will see them again, get back to work!

John 6:35-40 and James 4:13-17: The will of God is for us to do the Father’s will. Distractions are no excuse. Live like you don’t have tomorrow, but plan like you have a lifetime.

Philippians 1:27-4:11: Live worthy of your heavenly citizenship by pointing yourself and others to the gospel. In like manner, characterize your walk in submission to the Father’s will and esteeming everyone you meet as better than yourself.

I hope I didn’t waste your time with reading this blog. Please, don’t take my word for it, read the Word of God each day, for without it, you won’t make it through your day loving God fully.